Tuesday, April 1, 2008



I know it is April Fool's Day, and the above Maxine addresses that fact, but I can't remember tricks that were played on me or that I played on anyone else on April 1st, no matter how hard I try. I guess that's a sign of my age. Nevertheless, Happy April Fool's Day to you; now I will go on to what I wanted to talk about here: dreams.

I have been having vivid dreams in the last few months, and my grief counselor has told me that sleep disturbances are normal after a major loss. Generally, I can't remember my dreams, but last night I dreamed about my dad and family members on his side of the family, and I actually remember parts of the dream. It had to do with my wanting to leave home and my father trying to prevent that. I am realizing today, due to this and one other factor that I just wrote my Aunt Joan and mentioned (the fact that I wear my hair long despite my mother having always wanted me to wear it short), that independence is an issue for me, even this late in life.

I had one extremely remarkable dream experience a few years ago while at the Oregon coast and staying in Lincoln City, where I got out there and realized I had forgotten my medications. I was quite upset by that as I knew they were needed and I toyed with the idea of going home to get them, but that would have been a 240 mile round trip and I just couldn't justify it. I went to sleep that first night out there with this concern on my mind.

During the night, I dreamed about my late husband Steve and he told me to go to the Newport Wal-Mart's drug department and ask them to call my drug store at home (which was fortunately where the prescriptions all were; now they are on my HMO) and give me just enough of the meds to last the 3 days I would be needing them out there. That was what I did the next day -- it worked out beautifully.

I felt very loved and protected by Steve and by God. That was, until my mom and I were out at the coast some time later and I told her about the dream. Being of a different religion, she didn't believe that I had had anything remarkable happen due to the dream and she said that she did that all the time when she was at my sisters Kathy or Jo's and needed more medication. Because of her doubts,I began to doubt my dream and did so for a while, but lately I have gone back to believing that Steve could be watching out for me from the other side.

It is always possible, I suppose, that the religious aspect could be removed and instead, it might have been my subconscious calling forth a solution to my dilemma in the form of a dream where Steve was the means of giving me the answer. However, I do like to think that there was a supernatural element to the dream, and that I will see Steve again and be able to thank him for the assistance he gave me.


I mentioned yesterday that I hated waiting as long as I had to for the mail. It finally got here at 3:30 and there was nothing to speak of in it, other than a solicitation letter for funds from the American Red Cross. The other items -- a catalog and a flyer, I believe -- were all that was in my mailbox besides the Red Cross letter. I did enjoy my small spending spree while I waited. Hee hee!

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