BIG FISH AND BETRAYALThe

BIG FISH AND BETRAYAL


The following picture was posted to my tags list by a member in Oklahoma, and amazingly it was taken here in Oregon, not all that far from where I live.

FYI: This sturgeon is still alive, just worn out from the fight. They turned him loose after the photo.











This sturgeon was caught on the Willamette River just below Oregon City. It weighed out at over 1,000 pounds and measured out at 11' 1". It was 56" around the girth and took over 6 1/2 hours, and 4 dozen beers, for the 4 guys taking turns at reeling it in.

Any sturgeon over about 5 feet has to be released unharmed and cannot be removed from the water. They are brood/breeding stock and probably older than most of us.

For some reason, I have become somewhat suspicious of these larger-than-life photos, after having been taken in a few times by computer enhancements, but this looks to be pretty authentic, and it didn't appear on Snopes.

The Internet continues to amaze me, especially in cases such as this one, where it was someone in Oklahoma who sent this to me, when it was in my own back yard but I hadn't seen it before.

*****

I was pretty upset for a good part of the day yesterday, due to learning from one online friend about another one's betrayal. These two happen not to be friends any more, but when they were, the person who betrayed me was apparently labeling me as "strange."

I have decided to step back from my friendship with the one who called me "strange" and see what happens. After having had a good night's sleep, I am more philosophical about what the person labeled me. I'm sure it's not the first or last time that I will be called a name, and I've been called worse, and by people I cared about. This person happened to have irritated me quite often by preaching at me regarding how I should feel or react to incidents in my life, so from that standpoint, probably taking a break from e-mailing back and forth with her is a good idea.

Yesterday while I was processing this situation, I also had to fight a "shoot the messenger" reaction, but I got over that. It's quite amazing how cyber-relationships can bring up all sorts of feelings, even though we are not operating in the "real" world. I've seen it happen time and time again. And I will probably continue to see it in the future.

I have had some questions running through my head, such as about motivations, how literally to take what I have been told, forgiveness, and previous thoughts I've shared here regarding forgiving and yet not letting myself be put in a position where I can continue to be hurt.

It is continuing to be food for thought but for the time being, I am most inclined not to let this person betray me any more, if she has continued to do so. I've never liked to be ridiculed or laughed at (I got enough of that growing up) and I am hopefully ending that in at least one venue in my life.

*****

Last night I experienced something that I haven't for quite a while -- aching in the collar bone that I broke when I was about 5, when I was staying with my Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Lincoln and was at a park playing with my cousins. I was hanging by my knees on a swing set, which I liked to do, when I fell and struck the low wooden barrier running around the swing set and broke the collar bone. I was immediately taken by my cousins back to my aunt and uncle's house and from there to the doctor, who diagnosed the break and put me in a brace. My aunt and uncle and my cousins were always very nurturing and they took good care of me until my parents got back.

That was 55 years ago or so. As a result, when I felt the aching last night, I was given cause to reflect on the way the break had happened. It's not that the area of the break hasn't ached before, but it's been a while. I had heard rain forecast by weather people for today but my collar bone was also telling me that rain was on the way. Sure enough, it has rained this morning. That's not the most comfortable way to personally forecast the weather! LOL!

*****

It just so happens that both Ziggies are about medical-type professionals today. I have had mixed experiences with such people, so I am especially enjoying these cartoons.

NEAR HITS?With the CNN

NEAR HITS?

With the CNN airline news today that Indianapolis-based ATA Airlines has filed for bankruptcy, it seems that evidence is definitely there that we are in an economic downturn. The article I read on the CNN site said that this airline had mostly contracted with Southwest Airlines, so it's not too surprising that I had never heard of it. However, it is certainly not a good thing when any company files for bankruptcy.

This event reminded me of when I was checking out at Fred Meyer yesterday with my groceries, and the cashier, who seems to be somewhat of a nervous person, kept talking about airplanes and all the near misses they were having. She kept saying they were not "near misses," they were "near hits." I didn't quite know what to say, so in one moment where she wasn't talking, I said I must have been lucky the last time I flew because I didn't experience anything like that. Rather than responding to what I had said (my perhaps-lame attempt to be conversational), she went back to her "near hits" theory. The thing that made me the most nervous was the way she was chattering and just running the items across the scanner without thinking about what she was doing. I guess she is experienced enough to be able to ring up the groceries rather automatically, but I would have felt better if she had focused on her work.

I shouldn't complain, though, as I think that being a cashier has to be a pretty thankless job, and I couldn't stand for hours like that and deal with an endless stream of customers and groceries. I guess some people want to talk a lot, too, and this lady likes to do so more than I do. People are interesting.

*****

I believe that Jeff is here, picking up sticks that have blown down before mowing the lawn. This will be the first mowing of it this year. I appreciate so much the way he takes care of my place for me.

THE SHACKA good

THE SHACK


A good friend of mine read the book, "The Shack," by William P. Young, several weeks ago and she told me how she had felt about it: unclear and possibly somewhat confused, but ultimately she believed that it was about forgiveness.

I ordered it from Amazon and I have spent the last several days reading it, just finishing it yesterday. I also as of this moment have not totally crystallized my thoughts and feelings about it. I found it to be an enjoyable read that captured my imagination, although there were moments of sadness, but also parts of it that were joyful.

The book begins on a fairly low note, describing the main character's childhood of abuse, then after he (Mack) has married happily and has had 5 children, he experiences a parent's worst nightmare, the abduction and apparent brutal murder of his youngest child, a daughter named Missy.

A key component of the story that unfolds after this is in the Oregon wilderness, where Mack has been summoned back to the apparent site of Missy's murder in a tumbledown shack by what appears to have been a note from God. There, he experiences some remarkable happenings.

I am not going to give away the ending, but I think that it may have been reading this book over the previous few days that brought about my awareness of my independence issues, which I mentioned in yesterday's entry.

"The Shack" does present some thought-provoking ideas about evil and good, and why there is evil in the world, and what God thinks about it. It also does touch more than once on the question of whether independence is a good thing or not.

My friend told me that she learned after reading the book that it is considered quite controversial. I can see where that could be the case among conservative churchgoers. It does skewer some stereotypical ideas about race and gender and religion -- including expressing God's acceptance of one large church that I especially don't like, as well as one major world religion that I have difficulty accepting. I was made uncomfortable, but maybe that was a good thing.

If you are able to take in concepts that may be new and different, even regarding religion, then you probably will find this book quite intriguing, if not enjoyable. I believe it may be worth giving it a chance, even if it tells a controversial story. I'm thinking that it's not necessary to accept every idea it presents; I certainly don't. But, ultimately, I did feel better for having read it and -- to me -- that counts for a lot.

VIVID DREAMSI know

VIVID DREAMS

I know it is April Fool's Day, and the above Maxine addresses that fact, but I can't remember tricks that were played on me or that I played on anyone else on April 1st, no matter how hard I try. I guess that's a sign of my age. Nevertheless, Happy April Fool's Day to you; now I will go on to what I wanted to talk about here: dreams.

I have been having vivid dreams in the last few months, and my grief counselor has told me that sleep disturbances are normal after a major loss. Generally, I can't remember my dreams, but last night I dreamed about my dad and family members on his side of the family, and I actually remember parts of the dream. It had to do with my wanting to leave home and my father trying to prevent that. I am realizing today, due to this and one other factor that I just wrote my Aunt Joan and mentioned (the fact that I wear my hair long despite my mother having always wanted me to wear it short), that independence is an issue for me, even this late in life.

I had one extremely remarkable dream experience a few years ago while at the Oregon coast and staying in Lincoln City, where I got out there and realized I had forgotten my medications. I was quite upset by that as I knew they were needed and I toyed with the idea of going home to get them, but that would have been a 240 mile round trip and I just couldn't justify it. I went to sleep that first night out there with this concern on my mind.

During the night, I dreamed about my late husband Steve and he told me to go to the Newport Wal-Mart's drug department and ask them to call my drug store at home (which was fortunately where the prescriptions all were; now they are on my HMO) and give me just enough of the meds to last the 3 days I would be needing them out there. That was what I did the next day -- it worked out beautifully.

I felt very loved and protected by Steve and by God. That was, until my mom and I were out at the coast some time later and I told her about the dream. Being of a different religion, she didn't believe that I had had anything remarkable happen due to the dream and she said that she did that all the time when she was at my sisters Kathy or Jo's and needed more medication. Because of her doubts,I began to doubt my dream and did so for a while, but lately I have gone back to believing that Steve could be watching out for me from the other side.

It is always possible, I suppose, that the religious aspect could be removed and instead, it might have been my subconscious calling forth a solution to my dilemma in the form of a dream where Steve was the means of giving me the answer. However, I do like to think that there was a supernatural element to the dream, and that I will see Steve again and be able to thank him for the assistance he gave me.

*****

I mentioned yesterday that I hated waiting as long as I had to for the mail. It finally got here at 3:30 and there was nothing to speak of in it, other than a solicitation letter for funds from the American Red Cross. The other items -- a catalog and a flyer, I believe -- were all that was in my mailbox besides the Red Cross letter. I did enjoy my small spending spree while I waited. Hee hee!

CLOVERFIELD???When my Australian friend

CLOVERFIELD???

When my Australian friend Lynne sent me the above Ziggy cartoon, she expressed puzzlement about what it meant and I didn't have a clue. As always, Google was my friend and I found out what Cloverfield is. It's a movie, and according to the site linked to in the preceding sentence, it's coming out on DVD on 4/22/08. Basically, it's the story of a monster attack in New York as told from the point of view of a small group of people. So I guess these Ziggy aliens are wanting in on the action? That's my guess, at any rate. ;-)

*****

Today is one of those annoying days when the mail is very late in arriving. (You can see how unexciting my days can be, when getting the mail is one of the highlights.) Mainly, I'm expecting bills, but it's always good to get them paid and out of the way for another month. In the meantime, I guess I'll do another thing I do at times when I'm bored -- spend money online. I do need the items I will buy, however: blood test strips and stamps. I also have a birthday gift advertisement from Just My Size tempting me as well, offering $3.00 shipping if I buy in the next couple of days. I wish the mailman would come and save me from myself! LOL!

WISHFUL THINKINGI

WISHFUL THINKING

I believe that the signature tag above is totally wishful thinking, even though there are a few flowers (mainly daffodils and camellias) blooming outside my house. None of the variety in this graphic, though. It has been quite cold here, enough for people to wonder when Spring is actually going to get here. We've been in the 40's F during the days and around freezing at night. It's still flannel pajama time!

*****

My Australian friend Jen sent me an e-mail directing me to a site where she had recorded her voice to go along with cat pictures, and she gave me permission to post the URL. I love hearing her Aussie accent, although she thought she sounded more like a Brit. You can hear it by going here. It's really cute!

*****

I watched -- or rather, tried to watch -- the movie "A Death at a Funeral" yesterday evening. It is a British film, and on the jacket it was called "a jet black comedy", which should have warned me when it came time to watch it. I managed to stand an hour of the 90-minute movie, and I was pushing it at making it that far. The movie is rated "R", which should also have warned me, as I prefer to watch films with milder ratings, although once in a while I let an "R"-rated movie slip through, as I did with this one. For me, it's not the actual rating so much as the content and why the movie has been given that rating that makes the difference. At any rate, it definitely was not my thing and I don't recommend it to anyone. I will be giving it 1/2 star when I rate it on Blockbuster Online, and that's being generous.

*****

After writing about hypersensitivity yesterday, I guess venting helped me to reach a state of forgiveness of the person who had annoyed me with her comments on that subject. Today, I am feeling less bothered by her or what she had said. I did discuss the subject privately with another friend, who added to my evaluation of why people are hypersensitive that some people are just born that way and it's part of their natural personality. So it was good to have that input from her, especially as she is a person who is qualified due to her education to make such judgments.

*****

When Lynne sent me the above Ziggy, she included the comment that this kind of thing happens in Australia, too. ;-) It sure does here! LOL!

FAMILY TREESA friend in Canada e-mailed me

FAMILY TREES

A friend in Canada e-mailed me an article about the familial relationship between Barack Obama and Dick Cheney a day or two ago, which I didn't bother to dig up for this post but instead found the same information at another online site, here. In joking around with this friend about family trees, especially since we both had been members of a church that emphasizes genealogy for use in proxy ordinances in their temples, she said that her step-father (and I don't know what his religious affiliation was) had traced his lineage back to Charlemagne, and that was what my maternal grandfather claimed to have done as well. My Grandpa said that doing so brought our family into the lineage of the kings of Europe and thus to the Bible and back to Adam. I remember being shown a scroll-like, long piece of paper with the genealogy back to Adam written on it in calligraphy, when I was told this. I have no idea where the scroll is now -- perhaps one of my sisters found it and took it home with her after Mom's passing several months ago. It's kind of funny and interesting to be related to kings, but I am sure that the royal blood has been watered down so much that we in my family are nothing more than average joes. ;-)

*****

I don't know if I have written about how hypersensitive I have sometimes been in the past, but it has been somewhat of a curse at times. I had talked about it on one usually-supportive chat list quite a while ago and -- as things tend to go on that list with some of the members -- the subject has been discussed on and on, ad nauseum. One of the members who drags subjects on forever said yesterday that a person who was hypersensitive suffered from selfishness and pride and the answer to their problem was to care more about others. That brought me to a bit of a boil but, as is my habit, rather than argue and start a flame war on the list, I just deleted her post but not without thinking in the process that she was very tactless and unkind. What do you think about hypersensitivity? Can it be the product of emotional abuse in a person's life, from parents and/or a spouse? Or is it indeed a sign of selfishness? If you have opinions, I would like to hear them, although I hope you will be kind in the process. ;-)

*****

The current grounding of large numbers of jets by Delta and American Airlines to check the electrical bundles on them, resulting in a lot of passengers being stranded in airports, brought back memories of my flying experiences around the first of January. As I have already written in detail about them after I got home, I won't repeat them here, but I can truly empathize with the people who were waiting for long periods of time. I didn't have to wait due to inclement weather in Salt Lake for my jet back to Portland nearly as long as some other passengers did; there were individuals waiting for that plane who had been there for 10 hours or more.

I have been thinking about how much we trusted those airplanes, and believed and hoped they were safe. I think that, if I were wanting to fly during this time of grounded jets, I would have mixed feelings; I would not like waiting a long time for a flight, as passengers lately have been, but on the other hand, I would be glad to know that the airplane I was on was as safe as it could be.

I'm just glad that I am not having to fly now, or any time that I know of in the foreseeable future.

*****

When my friend Lynne sent me the above Ziggy cartoon, she had to explain to me what it meant. She sent me a link to a site showing cargo pants, which have all the pockets in them. LOL! I guess I'm kind of out of it when it comes to men's fashion trends.